You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
