There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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