there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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