At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
