# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
