Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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