Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
