i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
