when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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