he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
