Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
