Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
