i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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