I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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