Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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