I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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