I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She announced her abortion via fbk
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize