I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
