I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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