I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
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My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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