Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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