Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
