Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
you had me at cake vodka
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
