Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
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College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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