Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was