i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.