wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize