I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood