Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.