The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
Me, myself and I
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?