I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.