that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.