Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
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i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
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We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?