try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!