Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"