Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize