party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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