Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
