whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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