Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
