I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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