do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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