I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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