When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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