When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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