You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
