how hairy? two words: wookie tits
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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