I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
