$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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