I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize