We're facebook friends in real life
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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