The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
