I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
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dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
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i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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