Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
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Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
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Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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