can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize