theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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