This is not my ceiling
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
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