Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize