There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Randomize
