Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
