Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Randomize
